Is It a Hallucination?
by Chauncy
Summary: Ron and Hermione are not Harry's friends for some absurd reason which you'll find out. You'll also find out who his new friend is...don't worry it's not serious at all.
1. Default Chapter

Harry woke up one day and realized that he had one more day until he would go to Hogwarts. 

Just then Dudley came running down the stairs and said, "Wake up Potter we're going to the zoo."

Harry sadly stated," Dudley we already went to the zoo. In the first book!"

Dudley slowly said, "You're right." Dudley stood there for a while.

Finally Harry said, "Will you leave or not? I think that you looked better with the tail, it fit you well."

Dudley said, "I have feelings too you know."

Harry said, "Really? (Please note harry did not have any sarcasm in his voice. He really wanted to know.) Gajaba!" He pulled out his wand and Dudley ran away squealing oddly like a pig. 

Harry thought to himself about how long this day has been but then remembers that it's just because the author is lazy and does not like writing to much.

So on to Hogwarts!

* * * 

When Harry entered the Great Hall he tried to forget the experience that had happened. Even some things are worse than the dementors. He saw that Draco was obsessed with horses. But the bad part was he had paper dolls and Ron said, "You have a Black stallion. He's to expensive for my family."

Draco said, "My God they are paper!"

Ron mumbled something so that no one could hear it. Even I don't know what it was he said.

They both decided they had to be friends for life because they understood each other (they even pinky swore so it was official). 

Harry decided that he would see Hermione to see if she was sane.

Harry asked a teacher where she was. She said, "She is in Madam Pomfrey's."

Harry went there and said, "Hermione." 

A nurse came up and said, "She can't hear you now. The little dear I warned her not come her hair. She had a lot of pain her hair came down deep to her brain. That's why she was so smart. It tugged her brain." 

Harry said, "Well that's great. Peachy keen."

Neville came out of a corner and said, "I'll be your friend Harry."

Harry said in a small voice, "Gulp okay" 


	2. Neville came to lunch with me

Harry's POV

Neville came to lunch with me. It was official, we were spit and blood brothers, and we pinky had sworn already. 

I thought the Dursleys were as bad as they could get. Actually I was wrong – well, I can't decide. Or can I?

Ron screamed in a short burst, "You can't!" and ran away giggling with Draco. 

I was wrong. The Dursleys are better.

On to class!

Naa. 

On to class.

(Note punctuation.) 

* * * * * * * * * * * 

Oh candied apples! This is boring, "Good job Hermione, now you're on the trolley," is all the professor ever says. 

Ron yelled, "Professor Flitwick you're…"

"Short!" Draco added.

The whole class laughed. "Man this is boring," I thought. Abruptly Neville stopped laughing. I noticed that only Neville was laughing and except for the occasional hand slap of Draco and Ron it was quiet. Everyone was staring at them. 

They all said things like, "You ate lunch together and he laughed at a not funny joke let's judge him by what Neville does then he'll get a taste of his own medicine. Yaa that's right, let's kill him, I agree."

By this time I was about ready to go to Durmstrang. But then I remembered that that was a great idea because no one could love a pony there. The next day I ran out to the lake and started swimming. After twenty feet I remembered that this author did not want me to know how to swim. Luckily the lake was gradual so I was in 10 inches of water. 

I found out that Ron is going kill Draco's family so that he will inherit their fortune and then one of them will get what they want. Ron will be put in jail but will get Draco's least favorite horse, Gray Pony. 

(Let's think. Draco has all of his family's stuff and a pony. Ron is in jail with Gray Pony. Hermione is dead and Neville is the friend that Harry can not lose.) 

Lunch again!

* * * * * * * * (back to 3rd person)

Yummy! More lunch. 'Maybe if I win a sport I will be loved by everyone again,' Harry thought. 

"Think quieter." Said Neville. 

Harry said, "Why?" 

Neville said, "I have a thing that reads minds so I will be ready if anyone wants to be my friend, and you think so loud I couldn't hear anyone else."

"Okay," said Harry.


End file.
